Ingrid Newkirk, the self-professed Press Slut and founder of PETA, is starring in the newest, thinly-veiled PR vehicle, a "documentary" entitled "I Am An Animal" seen on HBO.
While this may be old news to some, having launched last month, I've been chewing the fat on this one for some time.
HBO and the filmakers completely missed the mark. The film - or perhaps propaganda piece - really should be called "I Am An Animal Exploiter".
Guess who's responsible for killing more animals than circus elephants that die in a single year?
Ingrid Newkirk and PETA.
Yes -Siree-Bob, when it comes to killin' and a chillin' - Ingrid Newkirk and PETA are tops.
That's why they have that walk-in freezer down thar' in Virginny.
And guess who has no problem exploiting women - you know buxom blondes with gi-hugent (is that even a word?) boobies to get some money? Bob Guccione?
It's a simple equation: Bigger boobs make for bigger boobs. Just compare Pam Anderson and Bill Maher (damn - I used to like Bill, too).
T & A is really what works, so get some girlies to shake their boobies bare naked on the street corner and the boobies start shaking till their change comes loose into the PETA coffers.
Hey - make that title : "Ingrid Newkirk - I Am A MONEY-GRUBBING Animal Exploiter".
And what's up Doc with that other Boob? The one that runs around in a freakin' pink bunny suit. If I we're the Energizer people, I'd energize my legal department and slap 'em with a suit for stealing trade dress.
Which animal rights organization thinks that a KFC rat has the same rights as a 9 year-old child but supports breed-specific legislation and the extermination of all pitbulls?
Duh - that would be PETA.
And just which organization places all that advertising to get money - don't even call it "donations""? That would be PETA.
Just which animal rights organization takes in millions of bucks under the guise of "animal protection" while millions of animals languish in shelters and die?
PETA calls that "animal protection". I call that greed.
And just so we're clear on this - just which animal organization, led by which Press Slut, has a 25-year track record of exploiting women, children, and innocent animals for power, profit and fame?
Ingrid Newkirk & PETA.
So this coming year - I do have one request.
Tell Ingrid Newkirk that if she's tired of being surrounded by dead animal carcasses, that she should stop killing dogs and cats and stuffing them in her walk in freezer. Oh - and she definitely should stay out of the supermarkets and kosher delis.
Most importantly - Send all of your PETA donations to your local shelters and call HBO and cancel. And if you need blond babes with boobs, go buy a Penthouse magazine.